Peking Best

Ok, since my wife stays home we talked about it at length and decided to try co-sleeping and alot of other Sear's recommendations. What can I say now?  At 8months, our DS won't sleep unless mom is there in bed with him.  Sear's recommends that we keep co-sleeping until the baby asks for their own bed but because of financial reasons the wife needs to work and that means either a baby sitter or daycare. The only problem is he's too attached.  As his father, I can usually soothe him and get him to bed at night but he's so excited during the day that only his mommy can calm him and help him nap. At night, within 60minutes I can get him to bed.  My wife with him can do this in less than a 1/2hr usually. Actually, he cries hysterically if he's left alone for more than 10 seconds.  I'm guessing that he needs to gain some level of comfort in being left alone before we can tackle the sleep problem.  No? Basically, 1st let him build the association that being alone in a safe area for a little while is a-ok. I'm reading the Healty Sleep Habits, Healty Baby book by Weisenbaum (think I butchered the _title_).

It has more to do with your child's temperament than anything else. If you're looking for options, I've heard positive comments about The No Cry Sleep Solution , as well.  The author's name escapes me, but I'm sure you can locate it at a bookstore, or at your library. Elizabeth Pantley.

and decided to try co-sleeping and alot of other Sear's recommendations. What can I say now?  At 8months, our DS won't sleep unless mom is there in bed with him.  Sear's recommends that we keep co-sleeping until the baby asks for their own bed but because of financial reasons the wife needs to work and that means either a baby sitter or daycare. The only problem is he's too attached.  As his father, I can usually soothe him and get him to bed at night but he's so excited during the day that only his mommy can calm him and help him nap. At night, within 60minutes I can get him to bed.  My wife with him can do this in less than a 1/2hr usually. We're pretty AP oriented and DH has always been better at putting DS to sleep than I.  Of course, I could do it by BF'ing, but DS would wake up as soon as I tried to leave, whereas he slept perfectly for DH.  DH could put DS to bed in 5 minutes flat, whereas it took me up to 45 minutes.  I was shocked the first time I saw him do it.  Nowadays, I follow DH's routine. He was so much better at it than I. How long have you been at it?  Maybe it would just take you some time to get DS used to a new routine?  Try doing the sleep routine differently from your wife.  You may find something that works for you and only you.  DH was at a lost at first because he said he couldn't BF DS to sleep, but he found a way.  Hang in there!

Basically, 1st let him build the association that being alone in a safe area for a little while is a-ok. I'm reading the Healty Sleep Habits, Healty Baby book by Weisenbaum (think I butchered the _title_). I liked some of the Weisbluth book for the information, but I also thought that the majority of his process was hooey.  I much preferred _The No Cry Sleep Solution_ for process. Jennifer in AZ

Basically, 1st let him build the association that being alone in a safe area for a little while is a-ok. I'm reading the Healty Sleep Habits, Healty Baby book by Weisenbaum (think I butchered the _title_).     Though it didn't work for me, the No Cry Sleep Solution has worked for many others and is a good resource.                                                     P. Tierney

Actually, he cries hysterically if he's left alone for more than 10 seconds.  I'm guessing that he needs to gain some level of comfort in being left alone before we can tackle the sleep problem.  No? 8 months is the normal age for separation anxiety and stranger anxiety.  This has nothing at all to do with your _style_ of parenting or co-sleeping.   So, that said, this is not a good age for mom to start back to work.  If she must, it may be harder for him to adjust, if you can wait a month or two, I would suggest doing so. If not, he will adjust, but it will probably be hard on you and on mom. He will outgrow this and you can help him cope with several different strategies.   First, play peekaboo a lot.   This will give him the idea of people going away and coming back. Second, if you know he cries in 10 seconds, then go out of the room for about 9 seconds and come back.  Lenghthen the time as he becomes more able to stand the separation. Third, if he is mobile (crawling or scooting), walk around where he can see you and come to you.  You can even encourage him to *come to you* and pick him up when he does and hug or cuddle him. Fourth, if it's mom he needs, try seeing if he will spend more time with you while she is in the kitchen cooking or in another room.  She can also call to him from the other room to reassure him with her voice.  If she sings, she can try singing from the other room - a favorite song of his, perhaps. Good luck.  Remember that this is not only normal, but if it doesn't happen, you have to worry that the baby is not learning _object_ permanence.  This is a leap of growth and development and not something that you should try to avoid.